You may believe, feel, or think that you do not have control over much in life; however, how we chose to respond in any given situation can be within our control. Here the goal is aiming to respond always from a place of love; yet, recognizing that sometimes, righteous anger is acceptable.

4 Step Approach To Improving Self-Control

This only works if you believe Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior. Frankly, I’ve tried every other route of achieving self-control in my life and came to the conclusion decades later that it was impossible on my own. There are psychological, physical, and spiritual components to self-control. It was quite liberating when I realized that I did not have to struggle with this by myself anymore; however, it still required my active participation.

1. Believe in your heart that the Holy Spirit will enable you to restrain yourself
2. Have a fervent desire to obey God
3. Think before you act
4. Consider how your decision and action will affect your total health

Make A Decision To Be Healthy

You must first understand what total health means, and what it means to your quality of life. No one likes a lack of joy, peace, and happiness [contentment]; therefore, examine your story today. Ask yourself these questions:

1. Do I have a preponderance of healthy relationships?
2. Is there any evidence of addictive, or habitual unhealthy habits in my life?
3. Do the majority of my actions come from fear or love?
4. In general, am I satisfied with my life?
5. How does my response [verbal or physical] impact the lives of others?
6. Am I loving  myself unconditionally?

Where You Focus Is Where You Will End Up

When you are not acting from a state of love, I can guarantee that you will eventually end up in a world of hurt.  The belief that you are in control, and you will get it done solely on willpower, is a limiting belief. While I have nothing against will power, we need to recognize that we get strength and power from the Holy Spirit within us. In other words, our success is dependent on divine power.

Remember you are free to choose how you respond in any given situation; how you choose to respond depends on the condition of your spiritual and psychological health. Recognize that sometimes in life, your wishes, desires, or expectations may not coincide with those of others; however, it does not necessarily mean that they have a hidden unhealthy agenda. Everyone is on their own journey, and sometimes we meet others when they are going through a difficult stage in their journey. Be loving and respect their decision to not invite you to join them, instead of feeling rejected.

Love Will Never Lead You Astray

Before you think about the person who recently hurt you when you were being kind, remember, search your heart. I have come to appreciate the saying that it is better to give than to receive. When you give without expectation, truly without expectation, you will be amazed how much you feel a sense of joy and contentment that you were able to help someone. Instead of thinking, “Why am I always the one making the effort?” Think I am sharing love with someone who needs to feel loved at this moment. Loving someone unconditionally does not mean that you allow someone to use you as a doormat.

If you are using people, places, and things to fill you up, then you are sure to be frequently disappointed or dissatisfied. One of the reasons we develop unhealthy habits is because we are driven by a gnawing sense of dis-ease or dissatisfaction. When we fill our lives with love, there is no dis-ease or dissatisfaction, only joy, peace, and contentment. Also, we learn to employ better self-control.