It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out that human beings are relational beings. We were created to be in loving relationships with God, self, and each other. Interesting observation is that many people can love God but hate themselves. A bit of an oxymoronic statement, wouldn’t you think. How can you love God and hate yourself? In case you did not realize, if you hate self, you also hate the God that is within you. So, perhaps, you may want to rethink that idea of self-hate.

I HAD TO RETHINK SELF-HATE

Hate is a strong word, and I even made an acronym from it. We are full of H.A.T.E. when we are empty of LOVE. So true, a person would have to be full of hate to kill another person. Yet, it does not have to take murder to showcase how much hatred is in this world. Sadly, a lot of that hatred is directed at self. I did not hate myself, but I did not like myself. I did not accept unconditionally the beautiful creation that I am. It would be decades later after many psychological and physical issues; I would get to a place of UNCONDITIONAL self-love and acceptance. However, the old habits take a while to get out of the system. Thus, I am still a work in progress.

BE MINDFUL OF THESE 4 THINGS

1. It has been proven that FAILURE to love self will result in the development of unhealthy relationships. This is linked to a lack of authenticity. When you cannot be yourself, how can you really connect on a deep level with anyone.
2. Right up there with love is acceptance. When we struggle to accept, in other words, we resist who we are, we create within a milieu that allows for dis-ease and the eventual cultivation of disease in mind, body, and soul. When we DO NOT ACCEPT, we spend our time comparing or judging ourselves. When we come up short guess what happens, we behave in ways that make it difficult to develop healthy relationships.
3. The other thing that blocks healthy relationships is our inability to live in the present. The result is that we bring the luggage of the past along with us and it becomes the third person in the relationship. Worse than the luggage, we can get stuck in the past and act out at the age where we got stuck. Have you ever seen a grown person having a tantrum when they did not get their way? That is a child having a tantrum because he or she lacks agency of self. Worse, if you are not living in the past, you are frantically worrying about the future. I have to say that at my age, I have never been able to change the future by worrying. In any event, you are NOT living abundantly if you are trapped in the past or fearful of the future.
4. A lack of integrity and honesty. While they are mentioned together, each plays an important role in developing healthy relationships for without each, it is difficult for trust to develop. Without trust, a healthy relationship cannot exist.

THE 2ND IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP

After our relationship with God, is our relationship with self. If we lack authenticity, fail to accept, compare and judge, fail to live in the moment, and lack integrity and honesty about who we are, we end up disconnected from self. This leads to a constant nagging sense of not belonging and a chronic feeling of dissatisfaction. We each have been given EXACTLY what we need to live abundantly. Please note, it will not look like what someone else has, for each of us has a UNIQUE path to follow.