First, the tweaked definition of self-control that I use: “it is the discipline to override an impulse that is potentially damaging to your total health and to respond in a healthy way that leads to the optimization of your total health.” Believe it or not, “self-control was proven to be more important to a person’s success than a high IQ”!

Not All Impulses Are Unhealthy

Our impulse to eat or exercise are not unhealthy; they become unhealthy when we overindulge. This results in a motivational conflict, which is defined as the distortion of a natural impulse [aka: instinct] that prevents one from taking action or causes one to take unhealthy action. Example: it is the natural instinct of every human being to eat, when there is a motivational conflict [you want to lose weight], you can either stop eating altogether [seen in someone who suffers from anorexia], or you can overeat [seen in someone who binge eats, or eats excessing all day long]. Both scenarios are unhealthy.

Self-Control Is Difficult But Achievable

Everyone has struggled at some point or another with self-control.  A lack of self-control becomes a problem when it puts your health at risk, destroys your total health, or damages the health of others.  For those who struggle with self-control, it may seem difficult; yet, you can improve your self-control to accomplish your healthy goals in life.  I often think that self-control is intricately linked to one’s inability to tolerate distress [low distress tolerance]. If you get comfortable with the idea that there will be trials and tribulations in life, learn to accept that fact, perhaps you can tolerate the distress of not having your every desire and expectation met. Everyone experiences disappointments and setbacks; and taking it a step further, everyone has been hurt at some point in their life.  Thus, losing self-control does not make the situation better, in fact it often makes it worse.

Reiterating The Benefits of Self-Control

Self-control is not easy, if it were, everyone would be totally healthy and successful.  Yet, it takes a desire to get totally healthy for one to become mindful of their level of self-control. Self-control is linked very closely to your beliefs, thoughts, emotions, feeling, and actions. Therefore, the first step in improving your self-control is to monitor your thoughts, emotions, feelings, and actions [check your M.A.P. and G.P.S. frequently throughout the day].

1. Healthy self-control leads to improved total health
2. You react to conflicts better; therefore, you have healthier relationships
3. Increases your likelihood of living abundantly
4. You are more successful in your careers and professions

4-Step Process To Improving Self-Control

I have been doing this for years; yet, I never combined all four at the same time until 2018. The other thing to keep in mind is to treat yourself with love. Change fluctuates; therefore, it is okay if at times you feel as if you are not making progress. Start with baby steps, and aim for progress, not perfection.

I: On any given day, we all have a certain amount of energy [that is comprised of physical, emotional, spiritual, and mental energy]. The first thing you will recognize is that a lack of sleep and poor nutrition depletes your energy reserves. Know how much mental energy you have to spend each day on making decisions.

a. Don’t sweat the small stuff

b. Know what’s important for you to achieve your goal

c. Have non-negotiables [standards that you will not compromise on]

d. Recognize when you are tired or emotionally depleted

II: BUILD YOUR SELF-CONTROL – this can be achieved by doing unrelated self-control tasks. For example:

a. Say you will walk five blocks everyday for two weeks [EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE IT]

b. Brush your teeth with your non-dominant hand for two weeks

c. Get out of bed everyday on the opposite side for two weeks

d. Make your bed everyday for two weeks [for those of you who do not normally make your bed on rising]

III: TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR ENVIRONMENT – this I know well. I am a carbohydrate addict [no use denying it, so I simply keep carbs out of my home]. Initially you get a little anxious and irritable, but it fades with time.

IV: YOUR MIND IS YOUR GREATEST WEAPON -and it can also be your weakest link. Therefore:

a. Set your intentions daily [make a contract with yourself]

b. Keep your self-promises [so, setting daily intentions only work, if you keep them]

You can regain self-control, discipline, when you remember that your spiritual health is the key to your total health. Lean on the strength and the power within you to resist temptation to think, speak, or act in ways that destroy your total health. Finally, check the validity and truth of your core beliefs.