Psychologist William McDougal claimed in 1908 that certain behavioral tendencies were innate, rather than learned, including curiosity, self-assertion, and gregariousness.

In a paper in 1943, Abraham Maslow proposed the hierarchy of human needs, with the ultimate being self-actualization. Furthermore, he believed that these needs influenced one’s behaviors and a failure to have these needs met, could result in undue stress and mental issues.

WE ALL HAVE DEFICEINCY AND GROWTH NEEDS

Over the years there has been subtle disagreements about these needs; yet, one fact remains, all humans have fundamental needs that must be met for their TOTAL HEALTH. Deficiency needs arise from a lack due to shortage or intentional deprivation. I break down the deficiency needs into 2 categories:

1. VITAL [aka: primary] needs are required for us to live
   • Food
   • Oxygen
   • Sleep
   • Shelter/safety/protection
   • Water
2. ESSENTIAL [aka: emotional] needs are necessary for us to thrive
   • Connection
   • Belonging
   • Acceptance
   • Intimacy
   • Esteem
   • Validation
   • Love
   • Variety/newness/curiosity

The growth needs are cognitive, aesthetic, self-actualization, and transcendence.

When OUR NEEDS ARE NOT MET IN HEALTHY WAYS

If you have ever wondered why you respond the way you do, perhaps it is time to EXAMINE YOUR STORY. Consider that everyone has spiritual, psychological, physical, and financial needs. Failure to have these needs met in healthy ways can result in:

1. Feelings of anxiety or depression
2. Stress
3. Feeling hurt
4. Resentment
5. Dissatisfaction
6. Poor physical health and other mental issues
7. Loneliness or isolation
8. The development of addictive behaviors
9. Tolerating abusive or unhealthy relationships
10. Poor physical, spiritual, and financial health

How OUR DEFICIENCY needs are initially met

Most people initially get their needs met by their parents. Unfortunately, some people had the misfortune of having parents who did not meet their need for love, safety, protection, food, and self-esteem, which resulted in the development of unhealthy coping skills and an unhealthy emotional landscape. They find themselves struggling with developing and maintaining healthy relationships and may even manifest addictive behaviors. Others may find themselves seeking fame or pursuing professions where they can get recognition. A lack of food can affect how you relate to food, often resulting in unhealthy eating habits. Humans use their emotions to navigate and regulate interactions in their internal and external environments; this ability is hampered if their essential needs were not met appropriately.

Fulfilling our deficiency and growth needs are what motivates us [consciously or unconsciously]. When our deficiency needs are fulfilled, motivation decreases. Motivation increases even when our growth needs are met. Most people will work to gain money to put a roof over their head and food on the table.

To live a life that manifests one’s full potential requires that one understands fully how their needs, relationships, and sense of self are being expressed through their behaviors. Self-actualization can only occur when one learns to meet their emotional needs in healthy ways.

Steps you can take to achieve emotional fulfillment

It is unhealthy to rely on ONE SOURCE to get all your emotional needs met. To increase the likelihood of achieving emotional fulfillment, you must first recognize which needs are not being met and then do the following:

• Frequently engage and interact with positive people (nurture your relationships)
• Be true to your values
• Be optimistic and realistic
• Participate in or do things that you love and enjoy
• Find your purpose
• Live your life with passion
• Listen to your body and heart
• Challenge yourself and be willing to step out of your comfort zone
• Nourish your body with healthy foods
• Get enough sleep, rest, and physical exercise
• Stay adequately hydrated
• Take time to reflect and recharge
• Know and value who you are
• Become empowered [learn to ask for what you need]
• Show compassion, acceptance, respect, and empathy
• Express gratitude and appreciation

When you are emotionally and spiritually fulfilled, there is no to minimal internal conflict. Your sense of satisfaction is immense and there is no longer a need to suppress your intense emotions with unhealthy foods and habits because you have developed healthier skills to process and deal with your emotional surges.