If we go with the idea that we create all our emotions and feelings, it becomes easier for us to understand how best to cope with our feelings. It is simple, but it is not easy. If it was easy there would be no need for therapists or drugs.

2 CATEGORIES OF DISAPPOINTMENT

A lot of my blog posts are based on the experiences in my personal life, but also from observing and interacting with friends and family. A big issue for many is disappointment. I believe disappointment can be a healthy response; however, it becomes unhealthy when not handled correctly because it leads to feelings of discouragement and despair. As usual, when you get into your emotional or feeling state, it is always good to check in with yourself. What are you believing or thinking that is not grounded in truth and love?

There are two categories of disappointment:

1. Disappointment in others.
2. Disappointment in self.

GET OVER DISAPPOINTMENT IN OTHERS

It starts with remembering that we are human; therefore, we are prone to poor judgments and making mistakes. Then we must also remember that acceptance of what has happened goes a long way to letting go of our desire to create prolonged feelings of disappointment. My approach also includes the realization that it is not my will, but God’s will that is being done. Perhaps what I desired, was not in alignment with God’s will and plan for me. Therefore, I take it to God in prayer and trust in His power and love. We must also take responsibility for making rash assumptions or assumptions without the facts. Be cognizant of the fact that we cannot read anyone’s mind. Therefore, we will never know why someone may have acted the way they did unless they specifically discuss it with us. When in doubt and if the relationship is important to you, make and take the time to discuss what happened.

GET OVER DISAPPOINTMENT IN SELF

This may be the harder one to accomplish. We are often our worse critic, and we tend to have unrealistic expectations of ourselves. As with others, we need to show C.A.R.E. for our own human frailty. It is always a good idea to ask yourself some questions when you disappoint yourself:

1. Was your plan based in reality?
2. Was the goal realistic given your skill, time frame, and workload?
3. What was your core belief regarding your goal?
4. What about your attitude and pattern of thinking?

Then we must always remember the ever important, WHY? Whenever we set a goal, there is some benefit to achieving that goal. The benefit is what really matters to us, it is what inspires us to persevere when the going gets rocky. It is important to realize though that if our goal is not in alignment with our core beliefs, no matter how determined we are, that goal will never be achieved. Also, our goal must not be selfish.

PRACTICE ACCEPTANCE AND DETACHMENT

Accept it has happened, then take it to God in prayer. Ask God what it is you need to learn from this experience. Always remember to practice forgiveness. Realize that your approach may not have considered certain important truths. Finally, decide how important is achieving your goal to your total health. Then ask what is really stopping you from achieving that goal.

Learning to detach from the result was something I struggled with. I wanted to lose weight so badly, I became obsessed; however, that only created unnecessary tension in my body. When I shifted my focus from weight loss to being healthy and loving, my attitude and results underwent a radical change.