Let’s be clear, “stuck” is a feeling and each of us creates our own emotions and feelings because of the beliefs we are holding on to, the thoughts about the I.F. (inciting factor), and our patterns of thinking. Therefore, if you are feeling stuck, it is important to discover what is the belief, thought, and thinking behind the feeling.

STEP 1: GATHERING THE FACTS

Before trying to discover what you are believing or thinking, be sure that you are not being impatient. A mindful pause is required to assess if you are trying to force something. The conflict arises between our wants and our values. When what we want is not in alignment with our principles and values, it can cause us to feel stuck and we can create the feeling of frustration to compound the problem. Frustration is often a red flag that you are forcing the issue, so step back and try to re-evaluate your options.

• How can I accomplish this task while staying in alignment with my principles and values?

Realize that you can often feel stuck when you are exhausted, which results in a loss of focus and clarity. That is why it is important to check in with your body. Believe it or not, having a little conversation with yourself can bring you into a mindful state. Being aware of your emotional and physical needs helps you to make decisions that honor your total health, principles, and values. Often after taking a break to meditate or getting a good night’s rest, you come back full of energy and clarity, no longer feeling stuck and unmotivated.

• Why am I struggling here, is this emotional, physical, or spiritual exhaustion?

STEP 2: KNOWING YOUR WHY

What is your objective, you may prefer goal, or what are you trying to accomplish? Why is this important to you? Is it something that must be accomplished in a certain time frame? Know that unless it is life threatening, nothing is an emergency; therefore, there is time to examine your story with empathy. Your WHY has to be grounded in truth and love for you to be empowered by the Holy Spirit dwelling within you.

• Why am I trying to accomplish and/or achieve this goal?

Let’s pretend it is time sensitive.

STEP 3: UNDERSTAND YOUR THOUGHTS AND THINKING PATTERNS

The interesting thing about our thoughts and our patterns of thinking is that they are tied to the limiting beliefs we have about ourselves. Some negative thoughts or problematic thinking that may cause you to feel stuck are:

1. I want this to be perfect, but I don’t think I can be perfect [all-or-nothing thinking]
2. I tried so many times before and I failed miserably, I think I am not capable of success [overgeneralization]
3. I am not smart enough, so why bother [mental filter]
4. I am a failure or a loser [labeling]
5. It will turn out wrong and everyone will laugh at me [jumping to conclusions]
6. This is too much for me to handle [emotional reasoning]
7. I never get anything right; I always mess things up [overgeneralization]
8. I don’t have enough time [emotional reasoning]

STEP 4: INDENTIFY YOUR CORE BELIEFS

Understand that you have been living with these core limiting beliefs for a very long time and you will need to be honest in your examination. Also, it is important to always remember that you are the only person responsible for creating your emotions and feelings. Yes, they are the results of what you are thinking, but they are because you have some beliefs that are no longer valid or truthful.

The negative core beliefs that trip us up can be distilled into these four:

1. I am “NOT ENOUGH”
2. I am “NOT WORTHY”
3. I am “NOT LOVABLE”
4. I “CAN’T COPE”

• Why am I holding on to this limiting belief that is an untruth?