Know What Drives You And How To Be Loving

Why are emotions so powerful?

Your emotions drive you, but your feelings get you to act. Have you ever done something in a fit of emotion, only to regret it five minutes later? Your emotions are the powerful force behind your every action; however, it is the feeling, created by your emotions, that motivates your choice of action.

The Trigger Behind Your Emotions

Your emotions are triggered by an inciting factor (I.F.).

Yes, that little word “if” is capable of igniting your fuse. There are many things that can s.e.n.d. you into your emotional tsunami (“your fit of rage”) and cause you to make unhealthy choices/decisions.

Love is Stronger Than Your Emotional Tsunami—Here’s How to “Cope” With Love

You can deal with your emotions intelligently when you learn how to c.o.p.e. with love (you knew this).

Compassion

Express compassion for yourself and others by being still and taking a breath. I share more about my B.R.E.A.T.H.E. technique here.

Open-mindedness

Practice being open-minded.  There is always another perspective; therefore, be open to the opportunity for love and growth. You can learn from every experience when you are flexible.

Patience

Practice being patient. Understand that emotions give you a happiness interest “hi“, but also they are FADS (fear, anger, disgust, and sadness).  Your “hi”, pronounced as “high”, just like “fads” are transient in natureThe feelings your emotions generate only last a short time. Therefore, when you are able to be patient, and not allow yourself to get too caught up in these feelings, they will fade all on their own.  Yet, you realize in the process of coping that there must be

Empathy

You must recognize the suffering not only of yourself but of those around you.  When you are hurting, it is often easy to make rash decisions (say or do something destructive).  Be mindful, stop, and be still without the need to judge or act from a place of pain and fear.

Behind Every Emotion or Action is Your Need

You will choose or decide to act when you feel threatened, feel unsafe, uncertain, uncomfortable, hungry, or you are feeling exposed and vulnerable.  Often the emotions that you may experience are fear and anger; however, remember, f.a.d.s.  While you can get a h.i., we are often less destructive (less likely to “act up“) when our emotion is happy or we are interested [engaged] in life and not feeling bored.

So, what exactly causes the emotions that send you into a state of an emotional fog or tsunami, and clouds your judgment?

Surprises, expectations, needs and desires are the triggers behind our emotions.  When you receive an unexpected surprise (good or bad), your emotions show up.  If it was a pleasant surprise, you get h.i.; however, i.f. it was a negative surprise, fear, anger, disgust, and sadness may all show-up.

When your expectations, needs or desires are not met, the more likely to be destructive emotions show up in full force and cause feelings that require or demand that you act.

8 Tips on Coping Intelligently with Love

You may find that you need all eight during an intense tsunami or you may only need one or two.  It is interesting to note that “be”, another little word packs a powerful punch.

BE still and B.R.E.A.T.H.E. [a spiritual acronym and prayer tool that allows you to tap into the power within].

BE mindful; become aware without the need to judge or act [be still].

BE meditative [be still].  Meditate or reflect on “the word”, your anchor phrase, or your pact.

BE prayerful.  When you b.r.e.a.t.h.e., you start the process of praying, which helps you to regain clarity and control.

BE accepting.  Accept that these emotions have cropped up; however, remember they are transient.  Still, listen and learn what they are trying to tell/teach you. 

What need do you have right now that you feel is not being met, or is in danger of not being met?

BE loving.  Love yourself in healthy ways and love those around you in a like manner. In loving yourself and others you may need to

BE disciplined, which may require some distraction.  Focus on the positives in your life, right now, and let the feeling of gratitude erase the emotional fog/confusion. Focusing on gratitude distracts you long enough and gives your emotions time to fade. All emotions and feelings eventually subside; however, it requires you to

BE patient.  It takes time for your emotions to settle/calm down. When you do decide to act, you will be more likely to act from a state of strength and power (love).

Emotions were Designed to Help us Grow

Unfortunately, somewhere along our journey, we allowed our emotions to become powerful forces of destruction; yet we can change that.  Be still, b.r.e.a.t.h.e., remember, and believe that “I AM” is always present within you. Also, remember that love is more powerful than any emotional tsunami. Shift your focus from fear to love and begin living in the state of abundance.

This article was also published on ThriveGlobal.

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Susan Regisford, MD is a faith-based holistic wellness coach who works with you to create a custom wellness plan. Through one-on-one sessions, she helps you define goals to achieve total health. Connect with Susan to schedule your first free 15-minute consultation today.
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