Control is not a bad thing; we need self-control to live our BEST lives. However, control becomes an issue when we try to impose too rigid a control on our lives or attempt to control the lives of others. The first step I always believe is understanding why some people develop an attitude of the controller.

AT THE ROOT OF CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR

At some point in childhood, you were abandoned, neglected, rejected, abused, and made to feel not good enough. You did not feel safe or protected by those who were supposed to keep you safe and protect you. In response you “thought” that you cannot trust anyone; therefore, you have to do this on your own. Realize that God is not fickle like man.

BEING A CONTROLLER IMPACTS YOUR TOTAL HEALTH

Recognize that as a child you were not properly equipped with the tools and developed a faulty way of coping. While it may have served as a child, you realize that as an adult you have trapped yourself into a box that prevents you from growing into your full potential.

As you struggle every day to control everything within your world, you find yourself expending more and more energy. Anger, anxiety, frustration, worry, and stress become a part of your daily life as you realize you CANNOT control anything in life but your own actions. Yet, you struggle to let go of this need to control.

LIFE IS HAPPENING WITHOUT YOUR HELP

This is where you need to examine your spiritual health, and the strength of your spiritual foundation.

1. If you believe God is in control – why do you try to usurp His control?
2. If you believe God is all powerful – why don’t you trust that nothing is impossible with God?
3. If you believe God is all knowing – why don’t you trust that He knows your every need?
4. If you believe God is faithful – why do you not trust that He will provide what you need?
5. If you believe God is loving – why do you think that He wants you to suffer?
6. If you believe God is omnipresent – why do you not know He is always with you, and you are safe?

Look around you, can you control nature, can you stop the sun from shining or the moon from lighting up the night? Can you shape or mold the space around you? When we stop to examine the beauty and wonders on display around us every day, you realize you have no control. Therefore, allow God to work in your life as well.

GOD WORKS THROUGH US WHEN WE ALLOW HIM

If you have been following me, you know my story. I had to heal the pain of my past and let go of the fear of the future. I had to also learn to trust again. The 4 things I did:

1. Love unconditionally
2. Forgive
3. Pray [for God to renew my mind and create in me a pure heart]
4. Trust God fully

We love unconditionally God, ourselves, and each other. We forgive ourselves and each other as God continuously forgives us. Loving and forgiving others include those who have intentionally and unintentionally hurt us. Know that God loves us UNCONDITIONALLY and wants only the BEST for each of His children.

A RECEIVER ALLOWS AND A GRASPER CONTROLS

When we live in a state of receiving, we open our arms wide and fill our hearts with the power of God’s love. We also receive the bountiful blessings of God’s love. We know that God can be trusted, and we know that we are always safe in His arms. When we choose to receive God’s love, we let go of the fear and the need to be controlling. We KNOW that however life shows up, we will be equipped to handle it, because we have a spirit of love, power, and a strong mind dwelling within each of us. When we allow, we live abundantly and gain TOTAL HEALTH.