We think that if we don’t let people get close and if we put up a shield, we will no longer be hurt. What many fail to realize is that we end up shutting ourselves off from the healing power of love and human connection. The defense you created to protect you from further hurt has instead become a trap that creates internal conflict (lack of peace or dis-ease), which ultimately destroys your TOTAL HEALTH.

CLOSING YOURSELF OFF FROM LOVE

I had a remarkably interesting childhood. I do not think my experiences are in any way special, because I know that millions of children have suffered more severe abuse. However, we know that it matters not the degree, rather it is the damage done by the abuse. Particularly of interest is the age of the child when they are exposed to the abuse, as children do not develop full cognitive ability until about 20 years old. Which means young children tend to think that they are the cause of their abuse, more specifically that there is something wrong with them rather than realizing the fault lies in their caregivers, who were themselves not dealing with unresolved childhood issues. The problem is the defense they devise, backfires because it does two things:

1. It prevents them from connecting to their infinite source of love, God
2. It creates a disconnect within themselves [they disconnect from their authentic self]

The end result is a constant sense of dis-ease that you cannot quite put your finger on. A constant sense of dis-ease that you try to distract yourself from with people, places, positions, and possessions. You are trying to ease the conflict or soothe your soul; however, you fail to realize that all you need is LOVE. Rather all you need to do is open your heart and soul to love. Love is of God and God is love.

UNDERSTAND WHAT DEFILES A PERSON

It was interesting to read, “it is not what you put into your mouth that defiles you, rather it is what comes out of your mouth.” When you are squeezed by life’s trials and tribulations and when your expectations are not met, how do you respond? E + R = O (I borrowed this from a book called The Success Principles). I am embarrassed to say that for many years, my response [R] was food, more specifically, HIGHLY PROCESSED and addictive carbohydrates. When I got squeezed, I got defensive and anxious and rather than sitting mindfully with my emotions and feelings, I turned to food. The problem for so many people is that they are failing to connect the dots between their physical health and their spiritual health. I was for decades not even aware that there was a connection. Despite knowing that we are mind, body, and soul connected, I still did not connect the dots. You can be smart as a whip in some areas, and dumb as a brick in others.

HOW TO SOFTEN AND OPEN YOUR HEART

It starts by learning some biblical truths. Then spend some time reflecting on how God has shown you love. Realize that His love for you is what made Him choose to create you. Know that His love for you was why He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross to save you and give you the gift of eternal life in heaven. Many adults struggle to process such a loving God who is also a God of wrath; yet know that love does not deny the presence of evil. Instead, learn to understand and accept that love is what strengthens and allows you to go through the fire unscathed.