Before you continue reading, “Is this you?” Do you find yourself frequently using this expression? Who is setting your standards? Who is judging you? We are often surprised to realize that we are the ones setting the standards and we are the ones harshly judging our performance. The problem is that frequently we do not take proper C.A.R.E. of ourselves. We do not show ourselves the same compassion, acceptance, respect and empathy we show to others. Why is that?

DISCIPLINE WITHOUT LOVE IS TYRANNY

Yet some of us take great pleasure in beating ourselves up when we make a mistake, when we do not get it just right. The idea of being in the moment and being okay with your best effort is a concept many of us struggle to embrace. When we have unrealistic expectations, we set ourselves up to fail, thereby perpetuating the cycle of dissatisfaction. Perhaps if we stepped back and examined our stories, we may begin to appreciate the positives in what we have accomplished. I hear you; I know you want to change something in your life that you are not happy with. However, being excessively rigid and harsh is not the best approach. The saying you get more flies with honey is true. We are more effective and productive beings when we are shown love. Discipline is key; however, discipline without love is tyranny. Start showing yourself some unconditional love today.

IT IS NOT SO EASY TO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY

It is not so easy because we do not fully understand the meaning of unconditional and love. Unconditional means there are no conditions to our action, the action in this case is love. We love simply because we are called to do so. Love is a feeling that each of us can create for others and self that has nothing to do with a person’s race, religion, or status. We love for we are sharing the gift of love that was so freely given to us. Many people misunderstand this love. It is not competitive or has a hidden agenda. If someone is thirsty you give them water. You do not stand there expecting them to give you something in return. As humans we NEED love. It is essential for us to thrive. Take a moment and realize that we also need to love ourselves in healthier ways.

FEAR IS AN EMOTION THAT CAN CAUSE HAVOC

Many people think that hate is the opposite of love; however, I believe that fear is the opposite of love. Fear is an emotion and feeling that we create based on what we perceive. Furthermore, what we perceive is tainted by our core beliefs. If you believe something or someone is a threat, you more than likely will not love that thing. Instead, you often fear that thing and seek to neutralize or destroy that thing or person. Think about this for a second, “If you are not loving yourself unconditionally, how are you treating yourself?” Our behaviors, otherwise known as our actions, reflect what we believe, which influence how and what we think. Therefore, if you are NOT loving yourself, it is time to examine what you are BELIEVING about yourself.

TAKE THE “WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE” QUIZ

1. Do you believe that you are lovable?
2. Do you believe you are worthy?
3. Do you believe you are valuable?
4. Do you believe that as a valuable person you should be cherished?

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