The fundamentals of who you are, are usually constant; however, what you want may change with time.

While the fundamentals of who you are may be constant, it does not mean that there is no need for improvement. Everyone can benefit from minor improvements. The same way a rose bush flourishes with pruning, you too can flourish with a little trimming in certain areas.

Do you know what you want?

The first step in getting what you want is knowing what you want.

It may help to make a list. Write down what you enjoy and what seems to come easily to you.

Note all your skills (and abilities), even the ones that seem inconsequential.

Leave the list for a few days, then look at it again. What jumps out at you?

Thoughts can be erroneous-examine them for validity

Most decisions made start with a thought.  This thought is often followed by an emotion and/or feeling. Be aware that emotions and feelings are transient, so really examine if the emotional response is appropriate. Also it may be beneficial to assess whether the thought is valid.

In the heat of the moment of intense emotions and/or feelings the decision may seem brilliant or the one that will bring immediate satisfaction (instant gratification); however, take the time to examine the consequences of acting on those thoughts during that emotional state.

How many times have you thought, “I wish I had not done that?”

Thoughts can impact your health, directly & indirectly

Some decisions can not be undone, and the results of some decisions may have long term consequences; underlining the importance of assessing the validity of the thought and resultant emotion.

Choosing to skip the gym or to have ice cream because of thoughts and emotions, may not impact your health immediately; however, repeatedly skipping the gym or eating ice cream will lead to weight gain and decreased physical fitness. Physical activity and diet (what is eaten at meal times and for snacks) impacts one’s health.

Prayer or mindfulness practice can help

When you find yourself struggling to make a decision, stop and pray to God for clarity and guidance in making the right decision. If you do not believe in God, talk to a trusted friend. You can also practice mindfully becoming aware of your emotions, reach out to respected relative, or as a last resort, call one of the reputable hotlines that offer compassionate help. There is someone out there who cares, please do not feel that you have to do this alone.

EMOTIONS ARE OFTEN INTENSE AND CAN CLOUD YOUR JUDGMENT.